Monthly Archives: January 2017
I really don’t have a wide variety of things to talk about this time, but I have something I want to go into at length. Largely, I’ve been focused on politics for the past couple of weeks, as things go crazy. As I’ve said before, I’m a liberal, and this is not a political blog, so if you want to know more about my thoughts on current events, you’ll have to go by my Facebook and friend me, as I screen who can see what I post there.
D&D for Kids did not restart last weekend, as one of the parents forgot his kids had performances that weekend. I’m finally feeling healthier, but I still have a little bit of a cough. I’m still a little stuffy, too, so I’m still wondering why I get sick so often any more.
A couple of weeks ago, I finished the Moorcock portion of the Planet Stories book with his Sojan Shieldbearer character and started the other portion of the book. While his command of the language and writing style were well developed at age 17, the plots were mediocre and sometimes mishandled. For example, in one story, he introduced a group of villains who defeated the hero and were subsequently escaped from, who thereafter disappear from the story, except in the epilogue, in which he kills them. It was very anticlimactic. I’m assuming some editor taught him to not do that in the future. It would have been nice to see the villains reappear down the line.
I’m not particularly enthusiastic about the other story in the book. The writing is much more mature, but I’m just not feeling the story. The author is obviously following the Sword-and-Planet formula, and the obviousness is a little annoying. In fact, the beginning of the story was extremely close to Robert E. Howard’s Almuric in details. I plan on completing the novel, but it’s not a priority.
My “at length” subject is my living space. I’m not going to complain about the balance of power in the household again, if that’s a concern. That’s something I have to find a way to deal with on my own, and not tonight’s subject, except tangentially.
Even if it hadn’t been suggested to me that my things weren’t desired in outside my room, there’s virtually nowhere to put things. This house is extremely poorly laid out. When we moved in just before my sister was born, it was fine for our family. My brother and I could both live in the room I now occupy because as kids. We had only small belongings, toys that could fit into a small space. My sister was a newborn and had nothing, and my parents weren’t the collectors of things that the family is now. The cramped rooms weren’t so cramped. As we aged and moved out, our lives expanded, as did our collections of “stuff.” And I’m probably the worst.
A few nights ago, I had laid down to go to bed, and then remembered I wanted to put some lotion on my hands. I’ve had some spots of whatever skin crud is on my right hand break out again. As I remembered I wanted some healing formula hand lotion, I got up and scuffed my foot against one of the piles of books next to my bed.
Now, you must understand that there are a couple of piles of books in my room. All my bookshelves are full, and I still have more books than that. I’m regularly buying more books. I can say without hesitation that I am a bibliophile. The books at the base of this particular pile stand upright, but were aligned in such a way to allow the books to fall over out into the room. When I scuffed my foot against them, they tipped out into the room, dropping everything piled on top of them out along my bed. That as going to make it difficult to get back into bed, or in and out in the middle of the night if I didn’t pick up the mess.
I tried to restack this pile of books three times before I realized I needed to change the direction of the books at the base of the stack so they would not move. And I had to work the next morning. On the upside, I was okay and got enough sleep after getting the stack of books stabilized. But it took a few attempt to get things right.
In my ideal home, I’d have a separate office with even more bookcases than I presently have. I can’t have more than I do now because of the poor arrangement of the room. The north wall of my room has the entry door, while the south wall has the bathroom door, a built in cupboard and drawers, and a closet door. The east wall has a large window and the west wall is the only wall with no obstructions. This means I have no ventilation, either, but that’s neither here nor there where my storage space is concerned.
I’ve thought of things I would have done when building the room if I had done it (smaller bathroom, bringing the north wall even with the corner of the garage it was added to, etc.), and things I’d like to do now (a shelf all the way around the room at the level of the tops of the doors, a headboard and sideboard for my bed that includes shelves, etc.), but to what end? How long will I live here? It might be the rest of my life, but it might be much less. We’ve talked about moving when Mom passes (likely won’t happen before then), I’ve bounced around the idea of moving if/when I can get a better job, and other ideas float by every once in awhile. Why put in so much effort and so many resources for what might be a temporary situation? These last thoughts only now come into my mind, and seems like analysis paralysis, and it could be. But that’s what life is when your future is so uncertain.
That’s pretty much it for this go ’round. I have other things I need to get to tonight.
It’s been a few weeks. With two holidays on Sunday in a row, I had other things I’d rather do. And last week? I just kept putting it off, and about Wednesday this last week, I decided to give up. However, I did write an outline, which I don’t feel any real need to change and will follow for tonight.
I really didn’t do a lot towards losing weight until late in the year. In the summer, I started walking for Pokemon Go!, but I didn’t stick with it. It was pretty boring to walk by myself, but we continued going out after Thursday Night D&D (now Fantasy Age Titansgrave) until just a few weeks ago. Rain and cold and illness has killed our motivation, as well as the general decline of the game.
On the other hand, I’ve started cutting back on what I eat. I’m breaking myself of buying large sodas on breaks, and ordering ala carte more often. I doubt I’ve lost an ounce, but I’m feeling a little better when I eat less. It may not be much, but it’s something. And maybe as it warms up, I’ll get out walking again. I’ll have to find some kind of partner or something to motivate me better than Pokemon.
I had a couple of various issues with the holidays. Family ignored me as I tried to talk to them, in one case literally walking away in the middle of a conversation. I got only one gift I consider in any way memorable, one of the Engine Publishing books. New Years was okay, but I ended up feeling ignored by the kids a couple of days later. This weekend was much better, but both incidents left me feeling a little like no one would miss me if I were to not be there. After missing a weekend last week, the kids were much better, but the birth family hasn’t had reason to change. But more on that in a minute.
After having been sick just after Thanksgiving, I got sick again just after New Years. It really wiped me out that week. Wednesday after, I went to work and I ended up taking the rest of the week off and camping out at home last week. I’m still coughing tonight, but nowhere near as bad as I was.
I’m tired of being sick so often. Not sure what’s happened to me over the past few years. I used to never get sick. But that was through college and the few years following. But since starting with the rental company, it’s been far more frequent. Although, when we were kids, we’d get bronchitis a lot, and I had walking pneumonia when I was 24, so I keep wondering if something back then has reared its ugly head again now. I just wish it would go away.
The feelings of being taken for granted compounded feelings I’ve been having for a while: I need to change my living arrangement. I’m not happy here, for a multitude of reasons. Mostly, it’s the environment in the household. I’m frustrated with how things get done (or don’t), and the balance of power in the household.
Unfortunately, I’m not in a financial state to change things. I have, however, considered just pulling up stakes and leaving Fresno regardless. I haven’t been able to find a better job here. My skills are out of date, and the expense to update them is creeping beyond me, and my credit rating is probably insufficient to get me aid.
I actually started researching moving out of Fresno, but I’m finding the same problems no matter where I look: I don’t have up-to-date job skills for anything that pays worth a damn. So moving is pointless, it seems. No one wants to train anyone: You’re expected to walk into even entry-level jobs with prior experience. It’s very frustrating, and I’m wondering how I’m going to make it into my “golden years.”
We’ve gotten to the end of Chapter 5 in the book. Now, to frame things properly, the first two of the ten chapters is worldbook and rules for the setting, and the rest is the campaign itself. So, we’re through 3/8ths of the story. I took the week off last week because of being sick, but week picked up this week. Everybody’s having fun, and we’re actually roleplaying, which we weren’t doing during D&D. I’m quite happy with the game as it stands.
GRAmel has completed their Kickstarter for the new version of the game, and it’s now available on DriveThruRPG for backers, but not for the general public. My rewrite has stalled out. Of course, I mentioned that last time, and so really, I’m just saying the stall has continued. D&D for Kids starts again next week (because of me still recovering, cooking for our home game last night, and a MTG pre-release weekend at CSGS this weekend), so that is a distraction for me, as well as Titansgrave and the home situation. Again, I’m hoping that I’ll be able to focus more at some point soon, but I have no idea when that will be.
That’s pretty much all I have for this entry. This is life right now.